So …

Hello, knock knock. Is this thing on?

Yeah … it’s been a while. I am a crappy blogger, but enjoy checking in with everyone else who is actually posting. I feel like all the bloggers “I grew up” with have stopped posting, so it just gets easier to ignore this space. But I do miss it and miss writing just for me.

So to update …

  • I did run that marathon and kicked its ass. Or something. Well, shaving 20 minutes off my 1st marathon time made for a nice PR for this girl. I know that 4:43 isn’t going to shatter any records, but I was proud of my work that day. At least the first 20 miles. The last 6 pretty much stunk, but I finished. Thank goodness for pushing the pace when I still had it in me.
  • So, still on that runner’s high, I put my name in the lotteries for the NYC marathon and NYC half. Well, guess what? I got into the Half. On March 16. That’s in 8 weeks. So, guess who pulled together a very condensed training plan?
  • I have also made a lofty-ish goal of running 14 races in 2014 — I think it comes out to 7 halfs, 1 10-miler, 4 10k’s and 2 5k’s. September and October are full, but otherwise, it’s pretty spread out and do-able. Come join me!
  • M&L are growing up overnight it seems. They are both in Kindergarten and loving it. Starting to read, honing their writing skills, learning Spanish, and enjoying other classes like science and art. Oh, and lunch. Can’t forget about that. I sometimes find myself just staring at them and admiring their little personalities. Or big personalities. They are inquisitive and funny, and sometimes sassy.
  • I post pretty often on Instagram, so feel free to follow me there.

Tra la la la la …

I had a conversation with my friend ET recently about blogs and the activities on them just feeling a bit too staged. I mean, I get it. When I take a photo that may end up on the blog, or Instagram, or Facebook, I may take extra care to shove the dirty dishes out of the way, wipe someone’s face, or make sure I don’t have lipstick on my teeth. But sometimes I don’t and that is OK.

I certainly don’t post every day, don’t get paid for this stuff, and know that coming up with exciting content is not my job. I just find myself wondering … does this stuff really happen in anyone’s REAL life? I’ve always said that Facebook only shows the fairy dust and happiness of everyone’s lives or the moaning and groaning of how hard their life is and most of those people are quickly hidden from my feed. Most days, the fairy dust doesn’t bother me at all.

Sometimes  it’s hard enough just trying to live your life without comparing yourself to others, and when you feel like your dinners aren’t as healthy, your kids aren’t as smart, your running isn’t as fast, or your house isn’t as perfect, you can really begin to get down on yourself. I guess the normal – middle of the road stuff isn’t exciting enough to show up via social media. Whoops. I think that is all this blog is about.

Last week was Valentine’s Day and for us, it was pretty much another Thursday. Hubby had a group run scheduled that evening so I picked up Maddy and Libby and we made dinner consisting of heart shaped grilled cheese sandwiches, tomato soup, and strawberries. How romantic, right? I was pretty proud that the sandwiches were heart shaped, I used the Valentine’s Day plates, and the girls were excited to help me. I’m sure my photo on Instagram showed how wonderful it was.

It was pretty wonderful until about 10pm when Maddy wandered downstairs and threw up on Hubby, plus two sofa cushions. Or at midnight, when Libby threw up on the bedroom floor.

Yeah, up and down until 3am with sick twins is no fun way to spend any night, let alone Valentine’s Day.

So maybe the  fairy-dusted unicorn trodden path is better.  Because I don’t think anyone wanted to see the other relived.

Weak Moment

Growing up, my family was never into Disney. I went once, maybe twice. I had a good time, enjoyed the rides, but when I visited I was probably past the princess stage when and on to chasing boys on the playground.

I remember watching Bambi and Cinderella and reading some Disney books, but they weren’t my favorites. I didn’t want to be a princess or live in a castle.

When I had twin daughters, I was a little turned off by the whole Princess shenanigan. Princess shirts, tiaras, on the bottom of sweatpants (hello!?), princess parties, etc. I get it – princesses are pretty and sparkly. They live in glass castles and ride around in pumpkin carriages with handsome princes. They have ballgowns and teeny tiny slippers. Awesome. Let’s just say that I didn’t willingly bring princess crap into our house.

Somehow … it just infiltrated it’s way in. Maddy and Libby started talking about princesses, but not in any kind of specific Disney related way. It started with a few costumes and dress up shoes. We graduated to a few princess dolls on their birthday, Halloween princess costumes, watching Beauty & The Beast at the movies, and somehow full blown Princess mania. This Christmas alone looked like Disney sponsored their gifts. Princess puzzles, Pez dispensers, lipgloss, a trip to Disney on Ice, two DVD’s, and a LeapPad Cinderella game. Maddy and Libby make up stories about princesses and name their stuffed animals “Princess” and “Cinderella.” It is kind of mind-blowing.

Last night, I told them that they could watch 30 minutes of Cinderella before bedtime and it was over and showed a sneak peak of Fantasyland that has recently been renovated and opened at Disney.

Holy Smokes … I was drawn in like a moth to a flame. It was amazing. I found myself looking up prices of hotels, who you can have lunch with at the castle, and what rides are available. Yes, I know … fiscal cliff 2013 still exists, but this is FANTASYLAND, y’all.

After I learned that the cost of a Disney vacation is roughly $1000+ per person, I always thought it was ridiculous. In my opinion, we have so many other places in the United States that are worthy of that kind of expense, but I got sucked in to the magic, too.

I can’t believe I am writing this, but I have found myself considering a trip. I mean, the girls are 4 1/2. If we are going to go, it’s definitely the right time. They are still at the age where they believe in the magic and aren’t chasing boys on the playground and slamming doors in the house.

Where did my babies go and when I did get so weak? Is anyone else out there anti-Disney and did you ever switch over to the dark side?

So, now what?

The marathon is over, so now what do we do?

In the past, I have definitely felt a little down after my half-marathon training has finished.  You just feel like something is missing, but I definitely needed the time off after the full.

After taking a week off, I met ET and Ria for an easy 5-miler on Sunday morning. We even said out loud, “Does anyone know we are marathoners?” If you looked closely you could tell … 26.2 magnets on all of our cars and new Marine Corp Marathon hats on our heads!

It felt good to see that my legs still worked and nothing was too stiff or sore. I also made it to a yoga class in the afternoon, and on a Target excursion with my girls. $1 princess lipgloss! I told them they could pick out one item from the Dollar Spot and they both picked lipgloss. They may or may not have looked like clowns/over done beauty queens on the ride home, but I loved seeing how excited they were about their new purchases.

Libby asked how much the lipgloss cost and did we have to pay for it. I told her “One dollar & yes, we have to pay.” I  asked if she had any money to pay for it. She thought for a minute, said no, and with eyes wide, asked “But, do you?” After I said yes, then she said, “Well, you can pay for it Mama.” Smart girl.

So, a few fitness goals for the coming months:

  • Run a half-marathon on Dec. 1
  • Try to make it to yoga once a week.
  • I definitely want to keep running and would like to run at least once a week.
  • Check out Bikram yoga again. I bought a Groupon and I thought it would be good to use this winter.

I can’t believe it’s already November and now getting dark at 5pm.

The light turned green

When I pick up Maddy and Libby from their school, we typically have to stop at a traffic light on a main street that leads to our house.

On Friday’s, there is often a woman or man standing at the corner.

Usually they have a sign and try desperately to make eye contact with all of the drivers.

We live in a mid-size city, and have our share of homeless people. Normally, I don’t pay a lot of attention as I find myself preoccupied with the girls, turned around trying to fetch a lost shoe or cup of water. A few times, I was so close that I could have held a conversation.

I’m not sure why seeing these people stings so much. Maybe because one Friday, a woman was standing there. Her face was weathered and she looked tired. I would suspect that she was my age. Her sign said that she had escaped domestic violence. Our windows were down, the radio on, enjoying a sunny afternoon.

I felt guilty. Driving my SUV, wearing nice clothes, going home to a loving husband to enjoy dinner together.

Maddy waved at her and the woman waved back then held her hand on her chest and said, “They have the sweetest spirit.”

The light turned green. I wished her good luck and we were on our way home.

This afternoon, a tall man in a white tee shirt and jeans stood in her spot. His sign was smaller and I was further back in the line of cars. He walked down the sidewalk towards our car and Maddy rolled down her window and waved. She showed him her princess sticker book. Libby asked what his sign said. He laughed and said, “It says that I need help. I’m trying to get home.”

Once again, the light turned green, I exhaled and we turned for home.

So I can remember forever

Said to me by Maddy and Libby in the past two days.

Libby: “Mama, you’re pretty.”

Maddy: “Mama, you’re fabulous!”

Libby “What’s fabulous?”

and today

Libby: “Mama, I love you. I love you forever.” This one included a big, big hug that made my heart melt and not want to get in the car to drive to work.

Sigh. I love those girls probably more than they will ever know and that is probably why when one requests a specific blanket at 2AM, I am blindly navigating stairs and our family room to find it.

I’ve said it before, but my heart is full.


If we are friends on Facebook, you’ve already seen these, but I think this is what every Mom lives for …

posting cute pictures of your kiddos.

or kittens.

or your breakfast.

Maddy AKA the grumpy ballerina was not too happy or willing to have her picture made.

Is it just me or does the little ballet costume just transform them into little girls and not babies?
Recently, if I refer to them as my babies, I am quickly corrected with “We are big girls” or “We are big kids.” I will remind them that even big girls like to be rocked, have their curls smoothed, and their blankets straightened out.
Ballet class, truly “creative movement” started on Saturday and so far, so good. Their ballet slippers were too small, and had to be reordered, hence the tennis shoes. They twirled, stared in the mirror, walked on tip toes, jumped, learned to point their toes, clap and take a bow. From someone who never took dance and has little to no graceful bones in their body, I think they will enjoy it even if it is just for the pink costumes that they get to wear.

Catch up

I realized that I have blogged about M&L in a long time. Bad Mommy. I guess I could also say I haven’t blogged consistently in a looong time. Bad Mommy.

M & L turned 4 this June and I am still in shock. How can my babies be 4 years old? We enjoyed the start of our summer with lots of time at the pool, a fun lake trip with 6 adults and 6 kids all 4 and under, a visit from my parents, birthday celebrations, and they went to “granny” camp with the in-laws.

When I recently returned to work, they transitioned from a 9-1 parents morning out/preschool program to full time daycare/PreK without too many bumps in the road. We have had to answer why their “old” friends aren’t all coming to the new school and I haven’t quite figured out how I will answer why their good friend, WT is going to Kindergarten.

Maddy can be sassy, shy, inquisitive, analytical, and is still our little engineer. She watches how things work and usually knows what to do to fix them. She has the mind of a steel trap and remembers that she put her baby inside the chest, by the chair, under the blanket, etc. Or that yes, I have one applesauce left and sure enough, I will find it in the fridge. She loves music and especially a toy piano, and princess book that has a piano attached to it. Some days, she is our kissing bandit, showering us with kisses for no reasons. She is helpful and sweet, but can also be stubborn. Hmmmm … wonder where she gets that!?

Libby is loud, loyal, sweet, and can be a little sneaky. She loves to play, to engage others, and to “read” us stories at nighttime. I will say, C and I are both blown away by her ability to memorize/read to us. She can basically recite Brown Bear, Corduroy Goes to the Doctor, Goldilocks & The Three Bears, and Good Night Moon. Sometimes, when you ask her a question like “Have you already had a snack?” she will answer “No” knowing good and well she just polished off animal crackers. Not sure how to best approach this – yes, it’s lying. Does she do it to hurt anyone? No. Does she do it because she knows she can get another snack this way? Sure. We have started talking about what is telling the truth and what isn’t and need to keep working on it.

They both basically have two speeds: asleep or wide-open. They run, but don’t walk and are busy from the time they wake up. They do enjoy some Nick Jr. time and that will zone them out, but typically, they are on the move. Lately, they love to build houses out of blankets, toys, their small table and chairs. They also love a good picnic on the floor with their pretend food serving everyone coffee and pizza, or cookies, pretend babies (one is the Mom, Doctor, Sister, etc and the other the baby), draw, work in their green PreK readiness workbooks.

At their new school, they are in love with every puzzle, Candyland, the House/Kitchen area, coloring, and playing outside, and the “to-go” snack. Basically, a dixie size cup of snack to eat on the ride home. Libby will often tell me that she needs to get an extra for me since I haven’t had any that day.

The inspire, surprise, frustrate, and amaze me on a daily basis. I am so proud to be their Mom. Truly the hardest thing I have ever done and the most rewarding. When I tuck them in at night, look at their pretty faces, and smooth their curls, I am so humbled that they are mine.

Testing, Testing …

This morning, we were in our usual routine of guzzling coffee, helping dress children, packing lunches, a little screaming and negotiation, brushing hair and teeth, etc.

I was helping Libby get dressed when Maddy walked in the room, carrying something pink.

“Mommy, what’s this?” she asked.

I looked down and said, “Well, that would be a pregnancy test.”

“I like it. It’s pink.”

I told her to take it to Daddy.

Pause for about 10 seconds and in walked Hubby with a strange look on his face.

“Surprise!” I yelled and he may have mumbled something about an immaculate conception, but that’s a post for another day.

Yes, I would be the nerd who saved my pregnancy test(s) from when I found out I was pregnant with Maddy and Libby. I promise, honey. Double pinky swear promise.

I will say that Maddy’s timing is impressive. This week, four years ago, I took that exact test and was shocked and amazed to look down and see a pink plus sign.